A Turd By Any Other Name


#Drumpf to #FührerTrump to @realDonaldTrump: Not My President either way…

It’s been a good long while since I wrote anything on this blog; instead I’ve kept all my comments and outrage since last summer on my Twitter page, @whatspadethinks. Maybe it’s the bump up to 280 characters or maybe it’s because I fully admit I feel hopeless most days that fuck all I can write on a blog is going to change the conscious nightmare the United States is in right now.

But I take to my dormant blog The Monkey World today to talk about something that messed with my OCD mind: What I refer to that shitstain on the underwear of life Donald Trump as on Twitter. I’ve long refused to @ link (or whatever the kids call it) Trump on Twitter during my tweets; I feel he gets enough attention and realistically I know he will NEVER see it.

Since I wouldn’t refer to the creep by his handle on Twitter I had to use something else in references to him. At first I used “#Drumpf” because it perfectly encapsulated Trump’s proclivity for bullshit: after badgering Jon Stewart over changing his surname years back, John Oliver pointed out how hypocritical it was since Trump’s real family name, Drumpf, had been changed as well. Plus the hashtag in front of it not only served a purpose on Twitter, but it perfectly encapsulated his identification and overuse of the social media platform.

After the election I changed to “#FührerTrump”, as it summed up how I viewed the illegally installed traitor and his dictatorial tendencies. Recently however I broke my rule of not referencing Trump by his Twitter handle after he broke the summit with North Korea, tweeting out that the military was “ready if necessary”. Not only was he spoiling for World War 3 but he was using the United States military as his own intimidation gang. I didn’t care if he wouldn’t see it, or if some underling social media assistant blocked me. It felt good to send that tweet out and just say “Fuck you Trump” into the digital cosmos, including the steaming electric turd portal @realDonaldTrump.

Since then I’ve linked & sent tweets to his handle a few times and will continue to do so. I know some reading this may feel like “big fucking whoop” or it was a stupid thing to even worry about in the first place…it’s just an ID on social media, right? Well…since 11/08/16 it’s been very hard for Liberal Democrats like myself to find a way to fight this treasonous evil, this obvious conman buttfucking the American people. So we do ANYTHING we can, no matter how small.

I felt the bastard got enough attention and I didn’t need to mention his account to reference him, especially since he’d never see my tweets anyway. And frankly, I feel he’s far more nuts than we even think and I didn’t want to get some visit from the Secret Service/Trump Gestapo over a tweet I blazed him in. But you know what? Fuck all that. Let them come to my door, let the weak bastards at Twitter delete my account…fuck them.

Furthermore, It was recently reported that Trump blocking accounts was unconstitutional, this New York Times article   goes into detail about it, as well as his deletion of tweets being considered destruction of presidential records. So I figured my worries of repercussions were overdone and if anyone had a problem with my tweets to @realDonaldTrump it would be from his drooling gaggle of sub IQ80 #TrumpZealots.

So I have no problem from here on out to tweet at that worthless soulless cocksucker when the need arises whether he or his minions see it or not. Because the bottom line is, it’s all just semantics: call him #Drumpf, #FührerTrump, @realDonaldTrump, CheetoJesus, Beelzebub, etc….a turd by any other name is still a steaming fucking turd. #FuckTrump

Be Cool…

JOHNNY SPADE   @whatspadethinks



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How To Bring The World To The Brink Of Nuclear War In Six Months (Along With A U.S. Civil War For Good Measure)


In six months this illegitimate fraud who illegally sits in the Oval Office has brought us to the brink of World War 3 with North Korea, while simultaneously our nation is divided at the seams with ignorant neo-nazi scum holding torches and screaming “Heil Trump” desperate to see the Union burn.

I ask Republicans how they can STILL buy this Orange Turd’s bullshit with all the proof available right under their noses? Not just from reports from CNN, MSNBC or the NYTimes, you know, the “fake news” organizations as #GOP’s attempt to brand them, but from FoxNews, the AP, the Wall Street Journal, the very memos & press releases from his administration AND the sociopaths very own tweets?!

Why make every effort to block the Russian Hacking & Collusion investigations if he did nothing wrong? Why, six months in now, are his finances and tax returns STILL hidden from the publics view?! Where’s the outrage about him spending more time on the golf course in six months than Obama did in 2 years?

Or at the very least how can Republicans still blame and scapegoat everyone else for their failings, as they now hold both houses of Congress with a Republican “President”? That disgusting health care bill, the #NoCare bill, they redrafted and messed with for months could not pass the smell test in their own party! Why did John McCain refuse to vote for a ludicrous plan of “repeal & replace later” (i.e. take away millions of peoples healthcare and uhhh, we’ll figure it out later)? Because he’s an honorable man who knows bullshit when he sees it!

This is what happens when 60+ million people stay home and don’t vote; when a foreign government disrupts the very fiber of our democracy by hacking our election process for the benefit of a completely inexperienced bafoon and when we adhere to an archaic system where one candidate recieves 3 MILLION more votes than the other yet still “loses”…we get a silverspooned, failed casino owner/reality show star sending our country back decades.

While refusing to listen to the scientific and intelligence communities, the other countries in the Paris climate agreement shake their heads (including China!) while his military and diplomatic advisors are ignored because of his obnoxious hubris and ego. The infant won’t even call the other living former Presidents for their advice and viewpoint, breaking with over a century of tradition.

I hope the Earth survives and something positive happens, but since all of the warnings LibDems gave out re: Trump during the campaign have come to pass I have no idea if nuclear winter is right around the corner but know we’re the closest we’ve been since the Cuban  Missle Crisis. Considering the bulk of #GOP’s are Christians who welcome the end of the world/Rapture like it’s some big reunion concert, who knows if anyone can convince FührerTrump that sending out statements that are just as crazy as what’s coming from North Korea is not wise and Nuclear War is NOT GOOD. Considering he had to be told during the campaign by the Joint Chiefs why we DON’T use nuclear weapons I don’t feel too good about the outcome.

Where are the GOP Congress members who haven’t drank all of the Kool-Aid, the Generals in the Joint Chiefs, the CIA Agents, the Secret Servicemen who won’t allow the world to be engulfed in nuclear winter?! Is the retention of power more important to the Paul Ryan’s & Mitch McConnell’s than preventing their families bodies melting in a nuclear war?!

Are everyone of these sub IQ80 degenerate duncecaps who show up to these ridiculous post election election rallys too stupid to see the domino effect ANY nuclear weapon usage would cause throughout the world?! This isn’t as easy as “leveling” North Korea and only North Korea! Millions of casualties will suffer a litany of negative consequences, and that’s just if ONE nuclear explosion takes place.

If one missle is launched, Pakistan, India, Israel, Japan, China and those with WMD’s we may be unaware of will be given license to fire at will on their percieved enemies.

But hey, Derp Derp! Go on with your bullshit talking points and AVOID REALITY! “The economy”, “Benghazi'”, “but her emails”, “MAGA!” “The billionaire who’s never bought his own groceries & has a personal attendant wipe his ass understands me!!” “He’ll save muh coal job from dem nasty mexicans!”

Fuuuuck. I guess it’s been a good run…man is man’s worst enemy, and the past two years has illustrated that more than any other time in history.


JOHNNY SPADE  @WhatSpadeThinks

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Grand Old Hypocrisy


The modern conservative Republican party’s stock & trade is hypocrisy. For the last 50 years every major political issue involving Republicans will reveal hypocrisy of a high order. Many Democrats are hypocrites too, of course. The multimillionaire golfing type who then try to appear relatable to the poor middle class are especially disengenuous. Although it’s the GOP moral code, in their DNA, to be extreme hypocrites and most times, unashamedly so.

Biggest example of course is Donald Trump. Two years ago, before his announced candidacy, most GOP’s if asked would say their impression of Trump was “that rich dude on TV who fires people”. Certainly not the savior of America & a brilliant political figure. As soon as Trump dogwhistled their closeted bigot mindset however, he became the living embodiment of the TeaBag/AltRight (bowel) movement.

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Trump Illegitimacy Clock



The polls months, weeks and days before Election Day weren’t wrong. Hillary had a sizeable lead over the human turd Trump. Regardless of the antiquated Electoral College (which Hillary would’ve won too if not for Russian hacking, Comey and the media’s 16 month long free advertising campaign for Trump), 3 Million more votes do matter. FBI Director Comey launched a false flag, political black op by leaking that incriminating emails were found on a Clinton staffers computer just a over week before the election. Two days before, after the unknown damage it did to Hillary Clinton’s campaign, Comey announced there was no problem, false alarm. Now Comey has excepted Trump’s offer to remain FBI Director, which of course the life long Republican sellout said yes to immediately.

All of these factors alone make Trump’s “win” completely suspect. But with the proof of Russian hacking and a Trump campaign connection with the Kremlin reported by the CIA & other intelligence agencies the fact the inauguration even happened is disgusting and illegal. How many votes did the hacking cost Hillary in the Rust Belt states that Trump won by less than 0.8% each? How can we call ourselves a free and just country when the Presidency has been stolen by a sociopathic reality TV show buffoon who has already issued more Executive Orders than most President’s do in a year or two.

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The @WhatSpadeThinks Brain Spasm #4

UnPrecedent Trump Dogfucks The American People aka: Day Three

Trump's meltdown over #CrowdEnvy was another one of his overcompensations...

Trump’s meltdown over #CrowdEnvy was another one of his overcompensations…

Today the illegitimate fraud Trump demonstrated why all the fears were warranted, why all the anxiety was reasonable and why all the critics were 100% correct.  In addition to pissing on millions and leaving them uninsured by killing the Affordable Care Act, the sociopath is pulling out of TPP; pulling all family planning funding abroad reinstating Reagan’s Global Gag Order (his response the day after the worldwide Women’s Marches); putting uber rich, unqualified slime into Cabinet positions while freezing all Government hiring (fuck real people who need work) AND is preparing to try and scam our North American neighbors into gutting NAFTA.

This is day THREE. Of course the first few days weren’t spent on providing a replacement healthcare plan for the millions he’s about to screw over, they were spent on egotistical ravings about how big the crowd was for the inaugural. He sends his Press Secretary out, for the first time, to rant and rave about the media REPORTING THE TRUTH! Spicer was like a petulent child reciting the lines Trump gave him, all showing how classless, graceless and foolish the UnPrecedent is.

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The UnPresident : Thief In Chief Trump Robs The Republic




Where’s The Outrage?!

If 2016 was the Death of Truth, then 2017 already seems to be the Death of Outrage. The past 365+ days (at least) have been one huge collective scandal and yes, it has been exhausting and embarrassing to the country.  Since Trump’s “victory” there have been daily exposés on his back peddling, constant pathological lying, tangled webs of financial and familial ethics controversies and most heartbreaking, the proof that our democracy was shit on and the election hacked and compromised to an unknown degree.

It’s not surprising since negativity and corruption, deceit and vendettas follow Trump around to all levels of his disgusting existence. As the most unlikely and unqualified candidate he won the GOP nomination by conning the AltRight Tea Bag rubes (not hard too do) and many decent Americans into making the ill advised decision to throw chaos and inexperience right to the top of the system.

The media saw it as a reality TV style news story, giving him hundreds of hours of free TV time to spread disinformation and show his ass on a daily basis. His bad joojoo was everywhere and like a clogged toilet it seems no one wanted to get their hands dirty and flush it. How his inauguration can still be planned and how his corrupt, old, white, rich swamp monster cabinet members are getting confirmation hearings is really beyond me.

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Stop Pretending


Actor/comedian Patton Oswalt wrote a Facebook post that made the rounds this weekend because of it’s honesty and unwavering commitment to call bullshit out for what it is…bullshit. Oswalt was not going to pretend the world won’t change for the worse next month when Donald Trump, the most unfit human being to ever run for President, takes the oath of office to become, no matter how Twilight Zone it is, the 45th President of the United States of America. Because the world will change… in terrifying ways. Here’s Patton’s post:

Patton Oswalt on Donald Fucking Trump

This perfect summation from Patton Oswalt , just an actor/comic yes, is on the money nonetheless. I try to be empathetic and put myself in everyone else’s shoes….so: If I won the Presidency with a less than 0.7% margin in the three Rust Belt States that swung the Electoral college, I’d feel “well it was certainly close, not a mandate, but hey rules are rules” even if they’re from an obsolete, distant world we DO NOT live in anymore. I admit, I’d figure Bush cornholed Gore the same way, so it must be karma.

But then if my opponent had over 2.5 million more popular votes than I did I’d certainly feel less than good about my “victory”. Especially if in the last 7 elections, including mine ( well, Trump’s, but play along), the GOP candidate had only won the popular vote once (2004, Bush Jr.). Did the people really speak and say I was their choice? I mean Al Gore only (only!) had 500,000 more popular votes in 2000 over Electoral College “winner”, Bush Jr.

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Trump’s Egomaniacal Fame Whore Tour 2016


This bogus ass horeshit Trump Thank You Tour is repugnant, unnecessary and just plain embarrassing. For a President-elect to continue on a ridiculous defacto campaign after he ahem, “won” is vomit inducing. For fucks sake…

These people at least tried to throw a Spaniard in the works by tying up as many tickets as possible so Trump Zombies couldn’t attend:

Vocativ.com: Trump opponents order up Thank You Tour tickets to deny fans seats

I love it but there should be a huge outcry from serious political leaders on both sides saying how ridiculous and self aggrandizing this is. But as most things are in this paradoxical nether-Universe we have found ourselves in, it just happens and everyone complacently watches it.

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The Tao Of Stupid

The Basket Of Deplorables (AKA: The Basket O' Dumbfuck)

The Basket Of Deplorables (AKA: The Basket O’ Dumbfuck)

Rise Of The Dumbfucks

Donald Trump is the perfect microcosmic, archtypal “American”. Loud, greedy, self obsessed- champion of exceptionalism without merit, plain stupid…

I say this as an American…so like the only family can insult family rule, I feel over my 41 years on Planet Earth I’ve seen the good & a lotta bad and can speak to it honestly and from a place of knowledge of topic. I love this country- the land, most of it’s people, but I fear the government and as a Spade can and will, I call a spade a spade: Americans are stupid.

I thought of this fact last night while walking through Wal-Mart. I could probably end the blog here…”Walmart? Say no more Johnny, that is stupid”, but I’ll push on. My wife and I are moving (always fun), same city, different house and needed some things. I hate WalMart, but it was late and the 24 hour operation of my hometown Las Vegas WalMarts & the admittedly cheaper products sent us there around 10pm.

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Trump Corp. Executive Branch Is Open For Business

In an estimate from three years ago, considering his businesses, NBC TV deal and investments it was estimated Trump made $30,000+ an hour, every hour, 24 hours a day...and he thinks the $7.25 an hour minimum wage is "fine".

In an estimate from three years ago, considering his businesses, NBC TV deal and investments it was estimated Trump made $30,000+ an hour, every hour, 24 hours a day…and he thinks the $7.25 an hour minimum wage is “fine”.

Note: I wrote a comment on a post of Tony Powers brilliant Barking In The Dark Blog about the still unchecked conflicts of interest his huge business empire poses to his job as President. As is the case so often with Tony’s great writing, it fires me up so much that I end up writing mutiple paragraph comments before I know it. I put over his great blog in a previous post and recommend it highly. In the future, if Tony’s or any other blog or news site comment box turns into my soapbox that should reside here, I’ll probably copy the comments over here. You never know when inspiration strikes…

I can’t believe the laissez faire attitude there seems to be about the incredible conflicts of interests and ethical pandora’s boxes that Trumps tangled web of business self interests pose to the office of President. But after his unfathomamable election and the shit show before it I don’t know why I let anything surprise me anymore…

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